Day 10 (July 31st): Rowed the Grand Canyon Blind: COURAGE. Pass it on.

Day 10…about time Stacy Stink and Lyny toad joined our crew. Can I just say I love my sisters? Their sarcasm is unsurpassed, they’re a little nutty like me, Stacy wears party pants proudly,


Jalyn can sing any Disney Song on the Spot (and some song about lone rangers and superman),


they play Egyptian War, and the conversation is always hilarious.



I Rowed the Grand Canyon on My Very Frist Try! BLIND: So, after A LOT of persuasion, Matthew finally consented to let me row. I was fabulous…need I say more? Just kidding…It’s a lot harder than it looks. Seriously. My favorite way to row is with Matt!


However, I did also row blind believe it or not…backwards! Yes, I know…quite an accomplishment. Before you know it I’ll be on one of those inspiration Pass It On billboards. Jalyn nicknamed my Mykellen Heller – how fitting.



Creatures of the Grand: There’s lots of lizards, countless exoskeletons of sacada (we think), small bugs that look like velvet, and huge toads that come out at night! We did see a soaring condor (I hear that’s endangered), mountain sheep, sandflies and hopper flies of course, and LOTS of red ants. In fact, one bit me. Now, this bite stung all day. I was shocked actually. I have been bit before and it was just a little sting and then it was done, but these Grand Canyon ants are something else. Ouch!

Day 9 (July 30th): Thunder Down River

WE SURVIVED LAVA FALLS – NEED WE SAY MORE? Lava’s the craziest rapid on the Colorado. There’s no “safe/good/smooth” path down. You go through obstacles you’d normally avoid. This is the rapid that ALL Lecheminant rowers talk about for days, months, and even years after the trip. Here's a group that was not so successful...I love how you can see EVERYTHING fly out of the boat (oars, bags, etc.)



We could hear Lava’s low pitched rumble echo through the canyon. The rapid I’d heard so much about was looming closer. I’d planned on going out in Lava. I just figured, if there was a rapid I’d get ejected on this was it. Luckily, it was hot, and I was ready for dip in the foaming water. The boys went and scouted the rapid of all rapids. Now, I must interject a pleased as punch wife moment:

(Me being pleased as punch)

Apparently, my dear Matthew made some pretty path defining suggestions. As the boatmen scanned Lava, no path really made sense. However, Matthew piped up and said, "What if we go far left?"…"hmm….that might work," agreed the senior oarsmen. And it did. We plopped off a rock, through a few holes, and all boats made it out upright. It was like we went through it in slow motion…plopping from ledge to ledge and then picking up speed as we punched through the holes. I didn’t get my afternoon swim in Lava, but due to the excessive amount of water we took on, I was definitely cooled off! Besides, after seeing Lava, I realized it was FULL of rocks and the last rapid on earth that I would like to swim.

According to Matt:

You know a rapid is bad when:

1. Any run “right-side up” is considered a “good” run

2. The roar of the rapid by itself triggers an uncontrollable urge to pee

3. Your instinctual thoughts upon viewing the rapid revolve around how you’re going to get everyone back to the boat after it flips (instead of actually figuring out how to row it….)

4. Your wife has been preparing herself all trip to swim the rapid and is currently deciding how best to do so

5. You find yourself “humming your favorite hymn”

Each one of these statements was true for Lava Falls. For the most part, there was nothing significant that morning. After a couple hours of rowing on calm water, I distinctly remember hearing a low roar far off in the distance and knew that it had to be Lava. As we got closer and closer, the roar became very loud, probably the loudest rapid I have ever heard! We then pulled off the river to scout. By this time, I felt like I was going to pee my pants, I was so nervous (Dad told me it’s always a good idea to do that before tackling a big rapid, and although my pants would get wet anyway from the rapid, it’s never fun to be that kind of wet J). After relieving my waters, I was ready to see exactly what this beast was all about. When I got to the top of the hill where Lava could be seen in its full glory, the first thought that went through my head was, “There’s no way we’re going to get through this right-side up….”

*Note about Lava: unlike other rapids, there is no specific “run” that will let you avoid all the rocks and holes; rather, with Lava, you take all the options into account and choose to run “the lesser of all evils” – not my favorite way to tackle things!

Every approach down the rapid eventually led to something that had a very good chance of flipping a boat. We looked at the right side of the ledge-hole and found gigantic waves that were sure to stall a boat and capsize it; of course, the ledge hole was not an option (never go in the ledge-hole – boats generally aren’t inflated when they come out of the ledge-hole); to the left of the ledge-hole was a good v-wave, but it dumped straight into another huge hole; if we took the left side of that v-wave, we might make it through okay, but there would still be someone that would likely flip as it led you straight into a huge pour-over off a rock whose reversal wave was ginormous. Finally, as we were just about to head down and take our chances on the left side of that v-wave, we saw a very small v on the far-left side of the river. We traced where it would lead us, and although it still wasn’t pretty water and would take a lot of muscle work to punch through some big waves and holes, it was by far our best option.

Once in the boats, the tension was high. We hauled over to the left side of the river as quickly as we could. As I had been told, you can’t see anything in the rapid until you’re actually in it, so all we could see was the calm water. We stayed left, found the rocks we needed to line up correctly and gave it a go. In the small v, we went right over a small rock that turned some of us (luckily, I was able to keep the boat straight). Then the fun began… we dropped off into the rapid, going straight into a huge reversal wave (much bigger than it appeared while scouting above). Water poured into our boat, but luckily, I was able to push us through the wave. A couple bumps and bangs and a lot of hanging on, and before we knew it, we were riding out on the side of the big waves at the bottom – right-side up! Definitely one of the most intimidating rapids I had been through, but also one of the most rewarding ones to come out on top of (quite literally!).

(Matt PRIOR to Lava Falls)

Matt and ALL the other oarsmen POST Lava Falls: A mix of relief and exhaustion!

Lunch Tacos: We stopped having featured meat of the day sandwiches and began having lunch tacos. They were surprisingly very yummy - especially topped off with the classic river Snickers. I was a little hesitant about putting cold re-fried beans on tacos, but it turned out great, except, everyone got bad gas. Blame it on the wild life and specifically the ducks, but truth be told, BO was not the only smell accompanying our party.



Egyptian War Became Slap Jack: I love LeCheminants…my kind of card game players…fabulous, obvious cheaters. Countless times Danny would slip Jalyn a card, and magically she was back in the game. It was hilarious.

Chocolate Milk: The water looked like this...yes, this was our drinking water. Thank goodness for water filters!




Another Attempt at Under the Star Sleeping: Since our attempt to sleep outside was so successful the previous night, we decided to try again. However, weatherman Matt noticed some very nasty clouds in the distance, but still thought we should give outside a chance. I noticed the occasionally sprinkling rain, and we ended up setting up our tent “just in case,” but placed our tarp outside with our air mattress on top. I woke up in the middle of the night to some sprinkling on my nose. “Matt, we should but our drying clothes inside.” So we quickly gathered up our laundry. Then, it poured as we tried to relocated to our tent. Matt and I then spent the rest of the night airmattressless in the tent. Everything got wet.

Day 8 (July 29th): “Am I still in the boat?”

Matt C/Katomeba Slot Canyon: We stopped at Matt C/Kat (not sure if it’s spelled with a C or K). It was my very first time in a slot canyon and I loved it. Maybe I’ll be a Canyoneer when I grow up. We climbed through a mix of water and rock.



I found that I was too small to press my back against one wall and put my legs on the other wall across the way – my little leggies just didn’t reach. So…I crabbed walked the canyon. Pretty cool, huh? Monkey boy Matt was an expert climber of course and had all the height necessary to stretch his long body across the little canyon. We climbed up some water falls where a beautiful vista met our eyes.




Nearly upset at Upset: Upset…a very confusing rapid. One uncle might tell you it’s nothing to worry about while another might say “it’s always a 9 in my book.” As we punched down the rapid, we started to realize that we weren’t as far left as we needed to be. The big hole we were trying to avoid got closer and closer, until we met it straight on. Matt, using his HUGE biceps, punched through the hole. It was like a huge hand made of water grasped our raft. Water poured in from everywhere as we got a little intimate with the rapid. My first comment following our escape was, “Am I still in the boat?” Fortunately, all passengers were present and accounted for! We decided upset will ALWAYS be a 9 in our book too.

Chicken Milano: The kitchen crew (Jake, Renee, Grandpa, and I)managed to whip up a delicious dish: Chicken Milano. Now, I have to admit…I don’t really stick to recipes…Forget teaspoons and table spoons; I use only a tasting spoon. It turned out lovely, Matt told me it was the best he’d ever had it (apparently he didn’t like it before the river trip). I did remind him that’s probably because we were on the river and everything tastes good on the river. However, once home, we decided to conduct an experiment to see if Chicken Milano was genuinely good or if we just had river fever when we ate it. We cooked it again, this time with fresh chicken and mushrooms over angel hair pasta and wahlah! Delicious. We have a new favorite dish!

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz: We slept under the stars successfully. Matt and I were done setting up and taking down camp daily, so we decided to begin sleeping under the stars – which were AMAZING! After getting lost in the dark trying to find the hopper, we made it safely back to our air mattress and hit the sack. Fortunately, no wind, sand, or rain fell on us. Matt became a very good weather man and began watching the clouds more than any meteorologist.

R.N.= River Nurse: By day eight I had become a professional river nurse caring for Grandpa’s second degree burns, infected wounds, and tonsillitis – yum.  Grandpa had a fabulous first aid kit and I became very close to it. I even got promoted to the title of Doctor. I’m sure 12 days on the Grand Canyon is equivalent to 8 years of med school, right?

Day 7 (July 28th): Smile That Frown Away!

Mood shift: I am happy again. A new day came, with new adventures in store. It’s amazing what mornings do for you, even when you wake up to rain when it’s still dark and use your head lamp to make breakfast. Anyways, after my cry and a good night’s sleep I was ready for more.

Bloated: We all get bloated at times, and so do boats. Matt’s dad was relaxing in Kevin’s boat while lunch preparations were being made when all of the sudden pop goes the seam and air began to whistle out of the boat. Yes. We had burst a seam. Conveniently it happened at lunch. Grandpa came to the rescue and whipped out his 20+ year old repair kit. We pulled the boat up on the shore and Grandpa set to work. Matt got to help out by handling the toluene and boat glue which disabled his hands.

This time, I came to the rescue and fed Matt his PBJ. How romantic. Treated like a roman god.

After a slight delay, we were able to get the boat back in the water ready to settle business with Dubendorf.

Gnarly Water: Dubendorf Rapid turned out to be more gnarly than we had anticipated, but the gnarlier the rapid, the more soaked you get and the more fun you have. After going through the narrowest part of the canyon, we stopped at deer creek to experience some even gnarlier water – a big water fall with a whole lot of hydraulic force. The challenge was to get under the waterfall without getting blown away.

I was very impressed that Matt’s father was able to meet the challenge with ease. Even more impressive, 12 year old Jake did it too.

Excessive Bailing: Danny, Lena, and I felt we were bailing a lot more than everyone else. At times, everyone probably feels this way, but come to find out, we had a legitimate excuse: we had holes in our boat! Uncle Chris sweetly accused me of not bailing and made an even sweeter apology after repairing the boat that night. It was smooth sailing from there on out.

Full Moon: “Full Moon Tonight!!!” screamed Jake as Grandpa strolled on the beach in the nude, heading to the water for a night dip in the river. There are few things cuter than an old man’s bum. Greg had warned prior to our adventure, that occasionally grandpa likes to take nude baths. The only problem is, he thinks if he can’t see you, you can’t see him – which proved to be false.

Day 6 (July 27th) 1-2-3 IPHONE!

Crystal: Day six we took on the “most dangerous rapid of the Grand Canyon,” Crystal. We tried something new. Typically, LeCheminants run the right side. After watching another group run the left side, we decided to give it a shot. The run would be between two huge holes, but it had a lot more waves and looked much more exciting than the right. So we ran it, and it was fabulous.

After running Crystal, Danny’s wife, Lena, was welcomed aboard our shom-bomb raft! We were just becoming more and more popular with each rapid we stayed upright.



Lunch: Each day we’d pull over when we found some shade. There was a featured meat of the day (turkey, ham, roast beef, etc). The best lunch days were the Snickers lunch days. I have never had a better Snickers than on the river. My job at lunch was cutting up the tomatoes and onions. The sandwiches tasted delicious, however, the watered-down lemonade left something to be desired. I’m a very firm believer in mixing things to their full concentration.



Elves’ Cavern: We pulled off and hiked into a hidden glade. A beautiful waterfall and refreshing pool greeted us. We took turns jumping off the waterfall ledge into the pool below. It was SO fun! We could have stayed there all day!






Now, Matt’s little brother Jake took some coaxing to jump. After, well - I don’t know how many times of getting to the edge and turning back, he found something that worked for him. We’d all shout 1-2-3 iphone and off he’d jump like a pro! He really had SO much desire to jump, but just had a hard time taking off. I think we all experience that at times in our lives, we want something SO badly, but fear holds us back. Jake found a solution and got what he wanted, a refreshing dip in the pool. I admired Jake’s courage and motivation to jump.



Jake wasn’t the only one who needed a few attempts before he jumped. Matt’s mom only jumped after being promised a grandchild from both Lena and I in 3 years- ish… So I guess I’m committed. I must say it was pretty hilarious hearing everyone chant “Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!” before she jumped.



We pulled in for camp a little late, and I had dinner duty (more time with the Frank Hansen Memorial Towel!).



The Storm: Now, I’ll be honest…my emotions were a little tested this day. After tasting civilization at phantom ranch via the flushable toilets, I began considering doing anything to get back to it – maybe even finding a rattle snake and politely asking him to bite me so I could win a helicopter ride back to civilization. We had been camping for a week, and I was dirty, bug-bitten, itchy, and a bit worn out. It was getting late as we hurried to finish the dishes since it was quickly growing dark. I was dying to get in the water to get “cleaner.” We finished the dishes, laid them out to dry, and rushed into the water for a quick bath. Then, it came. The winds blew through the canyon and thick rain followed it. Matt took off running to prevent the tent from taking flight in the wind in his sexy little jammer. I soon followed and we put the fly on the tent even though it was already wet inside. Of course we were again perched on top of a sand hill. We always know just where to set our tent up. We crawled inside and Matt held the tent up, frustrated. I sat in the corner and began to cry. Yes…this was my breaking point. However, Matt stopped holding the tent and just held me as the storm continued. I love him.

Day 5 (July 26th) "A Good Day for Rapids."

Day 5 was Matt’s and my favorite day for rapids! I think there were six 8-9s, and Matt went 6 for six on the biggies. Runs down Neville, Horn Creek, Granite, Hance, and Hermit, were unforgettable. The boat was swamped after every rapid…Okay maybe more like a lake, but that may be because we ran over a few rocks and tore a few holes in the bottom which caused leaks. It was heaven.




We did get a video of hermit, but it doesn’t do it justice… There were 5 HUGE waves…I wish I could have ridden it again and again. And, yes… both of my hands are up. Not holding on…it was too much fun, I couldn’t resist!



We did have a boat passenger change up due to some anxiety over the rapids of the day. A few wanted to ride with “more experienced” oarsmen. However, I assured Matt that I loved riding in his boat and would stick with him through it all. I’m glad I did. Although we lost our dear Tom to make accommodations for others, to our delight, another fearless passenger, Danny, joined our crew!




The rapids did not end on the river…No no…They were swirling down the flushable toilets at Phantom Ranch. I LOVE flushing! Having to “go” when we arrived, I took off running to meet the toilets! Now being one that normally is afraid of public bathrooms, I didn’t anticipate the excitement that I’d greet this one with. I was thrilled. Definitely a trip highlight for me! We also mailed letters home which would be packed out by mule.